June 19 2016 Restoring Harmony In The Home

RESTORING HARMONY IN THE HOME

Mark 3:25 & James 4: 1-2

Mark 3:25 – A home filled with strife and division destroys itself.

James 4: 1-2 – What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?

Five ways to manage conflict:

1.  There is my way

2.  There is no way

3.  There is your way

4.  There is half way

5.  There is our way

Six Steps to Resolving Conflict:

1.  You need to become a believer in Christ.

Ephesians 2:16 – As parts of the same body our anger against each other has disappeared for both of us have been reconciled to God and so the feud ended at the cross.

2.  You talked to God about the problem.

James 4:2 – Your quarrel and fight.  You do not have, because you do not ask God.

3.  You analyze the problem.

Matthew 7: 3-4 – Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brothers eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

1 John 1:8 – If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

4.  You need to schedule a peace conference.

Matthew 5:23-24 – If you remember your brother has something against you, leave your gift at the alter and go at once to make peace, and then come back and offer your gift to God.

1 Peter 3:7

Ways to Communicate                     Ground Rules    
                
1.    Pick the right time                     *No divorce threats         

2.    Choose the right place              * No bad temper

3.    Pray before you meet                * No hatred                  

4.    Come with a positive attitude   *No abusive language                      
    
5.    Establish some ground rules     *No foul mouth                       
                                                            
                                                           *No lies      

Colossians 3:8

5.  Switch your focus.

Philippians 2:3-5 -Don't be selfish, don't just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others too. Your attitude should be like Christ who though he was God, did not demand and cling to his rights as God.

6.  You need to ask for advice.

Proverbs 15:32 – Conceited people don't like to be corrected. They never ask advise from those who are wiser.

Closing thought: It's more rewarding to resolve a conflict that it is to dissolve a relationship.

November 22 2015 Maintaining Thanksgiving Joy

MAINTAINING THANKSGIVING JOY

Philippians 3:1 – Finally my brothers, rejoice in the Lord.

Six Ways To Maintain Thanksgiving Joy

1.  Stop dwelling on past failures.

Philippians 3:13 b - One thing I do is to forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead.

Isaiah 43:18-19 - Forget what happened in the past and don’t dwell on the events from long ago because I’m going to do something new.

2. Let go of anxieties about the future.

Philippians 4:6 - Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything.  Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done.

3. Embrace God’s plan for our life.

Philippians 1:21 - For me to live is Christ.

2 Timothy 1:3 - My only purpose in life is to please Him.

Romans 6:13 - Give yourself completely to God, every part of you to be tools in the hands of God to be used for His good purpose.

4. Dwell on the positive facts.

Philippians 4:8 - Fix your thoughts on what is true, honorable and right.  Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

5.  Give our lives away to others.

Philippians 4:1 - Dear brothers and sisters, I love you and I long to see you, for you are my joy and the reward of my work.

Philippians 3:21-24 - For me, living means opportunity for Christ, and dying, well, that’s better yet!  But, if living will give me more opportunities to win people to Christ, then I really don’t know which is better, to live or die, sometimes I want to live and at other times I don’t, for I long to go and be with Christ.  How much happier for me then living here, but the fact is, that I can be of more help to you by staying.

6. Learn to be untroubled by circumstances.

Philippians 4:11 - I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances.

2 Corinthians 11:23 - I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely and been exposed to death again and again.

July 10 2011 Living The Effective Life

Living The Effective Life

Four Keys to Effective Living:

1. Be yourself.

Hebrews 11:24 – By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter.

2. Accept responsibility for your life.

Verse 25 – He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God, rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time.

PRINCIPLE: The negative is followed by the positive

Verse 23 – By faith Moses' parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the King's edict. 
Verse 24 – When he had grown up.

3. Establish a value system for your life.

Verse 26 – He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt because he was looking ahead to his reward.

THREE COMMON VALUES
* Pleasure
* Possessions
* Power

Matthew 6:24 – No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both.

THREE THINGS MOSES DECIDED:

God's purpose is more valuable than popularity.

Verse 24 – refused to be known as Pharaoh's daughter.

People are more valuable than pleasure.

Verse 25 – chose to be mistreated rather than enjoy the pleasures of sin.

God's peace is more valuable than possessions.

Verse 26 – regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt.

Your character is determined by your choices, your choices are determined by your values and your values are determined by your vision.

4. Never take your eyes off the goal.

Verse 27 – By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the King's anger, he persevered because he saw Him who is invisible.

II Corinthians 4:16-17 – Therefore, we do not lose heart though outwardly, we're wasting away yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory, that far outweighs them all.

Verse 18 – So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Hebrews 12:1-2 – Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us fix our eyes on Jesus, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross.

May 10 2015 Freedom In Communication

FREEDOM IN COMMUNICATION

Proverbs 15:2 – When wise men speak, they make knowledge attractive.

SEVEN STEPS TO FREEDOM IN COMMUNICATION

I. Step One: Choose the right time.

Ecclesiastes 8:6 – There is a right time and right way to do everything.

II. Step Two: Plan the presentation.

Proverbs 16:23 – Intelligent people think before they speak.  What they say is then more persuasive.

TWO THINGS TO PLAN

1. Introduction.
2. Illustrations.

III. Step Three: Begin with their needs.

Ephesians 4:29 – Speak only what is helpful for building up others.

IV. Step Four: Learn to listen first.

Proverbs 18:63 – Listen before you answer.  If you don’t you’re being stupid and insulting.

James 1:19 – Be quick to listen, and slow to speak.

V. Step Five: Say things positively.

Proverbs 16:21 – A mature person is known for his understanding.  The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is.

VI. Step Six: Clarify your conclusions.

Philippians 4:2 – Agree with each other in the Lord.

VII. Step Seven: End with encouraging words.

Proverbs 12:25 – A word of encouragement does wonders.

REAFFIRM THREE THINGS

1. Your commitment.
2. Your love.
3. A sense of Optimism.

May 19 2013 How To Conquer Complaining

How To Conquer Complaining

Philippians 2:14-15 - Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.

I.  Four types of complainers:

1.  The whiner: Wakes up negative.

Psalm 73:13 - (David) Have I been wasting my time?  Why take all the trouble to be pure?  All I get out of it is trouble and woe.

Matthew 21:11-12 - They took their money and started grumbling against the employer.  We put up with a whole day’s work in the hot sun, yet you paid them the same as you paid us.

2.  The martyr: No one appreciates me.

Numbers 11:11 - Moses said to the Lord, why pick on me, to give me the burden of a people like this?  I can’t carry this nation by myself!  If you’re going to treat me like this, please kill me right not, it will be a kindness!  Let me out of this impossible situation.

3.  The cynic: Nothing will ever change.

(Solomon)  Ecclesiastes 1:2-4, 9 - Life is useless, you spend your time working and what do you have to show for it?  The world stays just the same, what has been done before will be done again.

4.  The perfectionist: Is that the best you can do?

Proverbs 27:15 - A nagging wife is like water going drip, drip, drip on a rainy day.

Proverbs 21:19 - Better to live out in the desert than with a nagging, complaining wife.

II.  How to conquer complaining:

1.  Admit it’s a problem for you.

Proverbs 28:13 - A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful.  But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance.

2.  Accept responsibility for our own life.

Proverbs 19:3 - Some people ruin themselves by their own stupid mistakes, and then blame the Lord.

3.  Develop the attitude of gratitude.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 - Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:11 - I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

4.  Practice speaking positively.

Ephesians 4:29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 6:4 - Don’t keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful, rather bring them up with loving discipline and Godly advice.

RESULT:  BE A STAR

Philippians 2:15