June 19 2016 Restoring Harmony In The Home

RESTORING HARMONY IN THE HOME

Mark 3:25 & James 4: 1-2

Mark 3:25 – A home filled with strife and division destroys itself.

James 4: 1-2 – What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?

Five ways to manage conflict:

1.  There is my way

2.  There is no way

3.  There is your way

4.  There is half way

5.  There is our way

Six Steps to Resolving Conflict:

1.  You need to become a believer in Christ.

Ephesians 2:16 – As parts of the same body our anger against each other has disappeared for both of us have been reconciled to God and so the feud ended at the cross.

2.  You talked to God about the problem.

James 4:2 – Your quarrel and fight.  You do not have, because you do not ask God.

3.  You analyze the problem.

Matthew 7: 3-4 – Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brothers eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

1 John 1:8 – If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

4.  You need to schedule a peace conference.

Matthew 5:23-24 – If you remember your brother has something against you, leave your gift at the alter and go at once to make peace, and then come back and offer your gift to God.

1 Peter 3:7

Ways to Communicate                     Ground Rules    
                
1.    Pick the right time                     *No divorce threats         

2.    Choose the right place              * No bad temper

3.    Pray before you meet                * No hatred                  

4.    Come with a positive attitude   *No abusive language                      
    
5.    Establish some ground rules     *No foul mouth                       
                                                            
                                                           *No lies      

Colossians 3:8

5.  Switch your focus.

Philippians 2:3-5 -Don't be selfish, don't just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others too. Your attitude should be like Christ who though he was God, did not demand and cling to his rights as God.

6.  You need to ask for advice.

Proverbs 15:32 – Conceited people don't like to be corrected. They never ask advise from those who are wiser.

Closing thought: It's more rewarding to resolve a conflict that it is to dissolve a relationship.

June 21 2015 Freedom From Anger

FREEDOM FROM ANGER

Proverbs 11:29: The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing left.

Three Phases Of Argument:

1. Recognition
2. Reaction
3. Resolution

Four Ways To Manage Anger From The Bible:

1. You need to admit your anger.

Ephesians 4:25-26 – Stop lying to each other, tell the truth.  When we lie to each other, we are hurting ourselves.  If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge.

Anger means that you care very deeply about some things.

2. I need to understand my anger.

Proverbs 19:11 – A man’s wisdom gives him patience.
    
Four Root Causes Of Anger:

• I feel unaccepted.
• I feel unappreciated.
• I feel unsupported.
• I feel uncertain.

3. You need to deal immediately with anger.

Ephesians 4: 26-27 – Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry, get over it quickly.  For when you are angry, you give a mighty foothold to the devil.

Job 18:4 – You are only hurting yourself.

4. You need to control your anger.

Proverbs 29:11 – A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

Three Suggestions On Controlling Anger:

• Be quick to listen.

James 1:19 – Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

• Give a gentle answer.

Proverbs 15:1 – A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

1. Be brief.
2. Be humble.

Proverbs 13:10 – Pride only breeds quarrels.

• Don’t use bad language.

Ephesians 4:29 – Don’t use bad language.  Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to and what will give them a blessing.

Seven Rules:

1. Never compare.
2. Never condemn.
3. Never command.
4. Don’t challenge.
5. Never condescend.
6. Never contradict.
7. Never confuse.

July 21 2013 God On Film: Monsters University

Memory Verse: “There are ‘friends’ who destroy each other, But a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” -Proverbs 18:24

Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.”

TO BECOME A GOD-HONORING FRIEND:
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BE A GOOD FRIEND FIRST

1 John 3:18“Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions.”

John 15:12-13 (Jesus) “I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you. And here is how to measure it—the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends.”
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ENCOURAGE MY FRIENDS DURING TOUGH TIMEs

Proverbs 17:17“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

3 Ways to Encourage a Friend in Need

1. PRAYER

2. Share a BIBLE VERSE

3. INVITE THEM TO CHURCH

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”
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SEEK TO RESOLVE CONFLICT QUICKLY

Ephesians 4:26-27 “…Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil.”

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and gracious to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ.”
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TRUST JESUS AS MY PRIMARY FRIEND

1 John 4:19 We love each other because he loved us first.”

Romans 5:11 “So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.”

November 11 2012 The Choice Of Peace

THE CHOICE OF PEACE

Matthew 5:9 - Happy are the peacemakers for they will be called the sons of God.

Misconception:
1. Peace making is not avoiding.
2. Peace making is not appeasement.
3. It’s actively seeking to resolve the conflict.

I. Why should I be a peacemaker?

1. Unresolved conflicts block my fellowship with God.
1 John 4:20 - If anyone says I love God yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

2. It can prevent answered prayers.
1 Peter 3:7 - Husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Matthew 5:23 - Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and then remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar, first go and be reconciled to your brother.

3. It hinders my happiness.
Job 18:4 - You are only hurting yourself with your anger.

II. How can we be a peacemaker?

1. You need to plan a peace conference.
Matthew 5:23-24 - If you remember your brother has something against you, go at once to make peace.

2. You need to empathize with their feelings.
Philippians 2:4 - None of you should think only of his own affairs, but consider other people’s interests also.

3. You attack the problem, not the person.
Proverbs 15:1 - A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up.
Ephesians 4:29 - Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed.

4. Cooperate as much as possible.
Romans 12:18 - Do everything possible on your part to live at peace with all men.
Romans 16:17 - I urge your, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way, keep away from them.
James 3:17 - Peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness.

5. You emphasize reconciliation, not resolution.
2 Corinthians. 5:18 - God has reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gives us the ministry of reconciliation.

Where To Start:
Colossians 3:15 - Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.