November 8 2015 Taming My Temper

TAMING MY TEMPER

Wiser Part 4
    
Proverbs 16:32 (LB) It is better to be slow-tempered than famous; it is better to have self control than control an army.  

1. REMEMBER the results

Proverbs 19:22 (LB) "A hot-tempered man ... gets into all kinds of trouble. " 

Proverbs 15:18 (GN) "Hot tempers cause arguments. "

Proverbs 14:29 (GN)   “... anger causes mistakes. "

Proverbs 14:17 (GN) "People with hot tempers do foolish things."

Proverbs  11:29 (LB)  "The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left, " 

2. REFLECT before acting

Proverbs 29:11 (NEB)  "A stupid man gives free rein to his anger; a wise man waits and lets it grow cool "

Proverbs 12:16 (GN) "When a fool is annoyed he quickly lets it be known.  Smart people will ignore an insult

Proverbs 19:11 (GN) When someone wrongs you, it is a great Virtue to ignore it. "

Proverbs 17:27 (GN) "People who stay calm have real insight”        

3. RESTRAIN  your remarks

Proverbs 21:23 (GN)"If you want to stay out of trouble, be careful what you say-  "

Proverbs 15:1 (GN) "A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up.  "

Galatians 5:22 "The fruit  of the Spirit is ... patience.  "

June 21 2015 Freedom From Anger

FREEDOM FROM ANGER

Proverbs 11:29: The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing left.

Three Phases Of Argument:

1. Recognition
2. Reaction
3. Resolution

Four Ways To Manage Anger From The Bible:

1. You need to admit your anger.

Ephesians 4:25-26 – Stop lying to each other, tell the truth.  When we lie to each other, we are hurting ourselves.  If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge.

Anger means that you care very deeply about some things.

2. I need to understand my anger.

Proverbs 19:11 – A man’s wisdom gives him patience.
    
Four Root Causes Of Anger:

• I feel unaccepted.
• I feel unappreciated.
• I feel unsupported.
• I feel uncertain.

3. You need to deal immediately with anger.

Ephesians 4: 26-27 – Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry, get over it quickly.  For when you are angry, you give a mighty foothold to the devil.

Job 18:4 – You are only hurting yourself.

4. You need to control your anger.

Proverbs 29:11 – A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

Three Suggestions On Controlling Anger:

• Be quick to listen.

James 1:19 – Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

• Give a gentle answer.

Proverbs 15:1 – A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

1. Be brief.
2. Be humble.

Proverbs 13:10 – Pride only breeds quarrels.

• Don’t use bad language.

Ephesians 4:29 – Don’t use bad language.  Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to and what will give them a blessing.

Seven Rules:

1. Never compare.
2. Never condemn.
3. Never command.
4. Don’t challenge.
5. Never condescend.
6. Never contradict.
7. Never confuse.

February 3 2013 How To Control Your Temper

HOW TO CONTROL YOUR TEMPER
Exodus 20:13

Verse 13 - You shall not murder.

The problem with anger.
Matthew 5:21-22 - Jesus said, you have heard that it was said long ago do not murder, but I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.

Truth: It’s just as evil to destroy someone’s self worth as it is to murder them.

I. First let’s look at four common expressions of anger.

1. There is the exploder.
Genesis 4:5 & 8 - Cain became furious and he scowled in anger and while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

2. A mute.
Jeremiah 15:17-18 - I stayed by myself and was filled with anger. Why do I keep on suffering? Why are my wounds incurable? Why won’t they heal?

3. A martyr.
Luke 15:28 - The elder brother was so angry he would not go in (to the party). So his father went out and pleaded with him.

4. A manipulator.
Luke 6:11 - But they were furious and began to plot with each other what they might do to Jesus.

II. Six principles for managing your anger.
Proverbs 25:28 - If you cannot control your anger, you are as helpless as a city without walls, open to attack.

1. Learn to like yourself.
Matthew 22:39 - Love your neighbor as yourself.

2. Learn to admit your anger.
Job 7:11 - I can’t be quiet. I am angry and bitter. I have to speak.

3. Look for reasons behind your anger.
Proverbs 19:11 - A man’s wisdom gives him patience. It is his glory to overlook an offense.

4. Deal with your anger immediately.
Ephesians 4:26-27 - In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 - Keep your temper under control. It is foolish to harbor a grudge.

5. Stop and think before you speak.
James 1:19 - Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Proverbs 15:1 - A gentle answer turns away wrath. But harsh words stir up anger.

6. Ask God to fill you with the Holy Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23 - But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.

October 28 The Choice Of Giving

THE CHOICE OF GIVING

Matt. 5:7 - Happy are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

The Motive of Mercy

Vs. 7- Happy are the merciful.

We must experience God’s mercy.
I Peter 1:3 - Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In His great mercy, He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

Complete surrender to God.
Romans 12:1 - I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God that you present your bodies (yourselves) a living sacrifice to God.

The Marks of Mercy

Matt. 5:7 - Happy are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Mercy is: Kindness

What are the Marks:

1. I’ll accept people where they are.
I Thes. 5:14 - Encourage the timid, help the weak, and be patient with everyone.

2. Keep the Spirit of forgiveness.
Matt. 18:22 - But up to seventy times seven.

Col 3:13 - Be gentle and ready to forgive, never hold grudges. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

3. We must support each other.
Gal. 6:2 - Bear one another’s burdens.

Hosea 6:6 - For I desire mercy, not sacrifice.

4. I’ll help those who are hurting.
Prov. 3:27 - Whenever you possibly can, do good to those who need it.

I John 3:17-18 - If someone who is supposed to be a Christian has enough money to live well, and sees a brother in need but won’t help him, how can God’s love be in him? Let’s stop just saying we love people, let’s show it by our actions.

The Mastering of Mercy

• Don’t nurse them

• Don’t curse them

• Do release the wound.

You get what you give:

Prov. 11:17 - Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, it is destroyed when your are cruel.

October 14 2012 The Choice Of Reactions

THE CHOICE OF REACTIONS

Matthew 5:5 - Happy are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

I.  Clearing Up The Confusion

• What meekness is not:  Weakness

• What meekness is:  Strength under control

II. When Do I Need To Manage My Reactions?

1. When someone serves you

Be understanding not demanding.

Philippians 2:4-5- Don’t just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others too, and in what they are doing.  Your attitude should be the same as Jesus Christ.

2. When someone disappoints you

Be gentle not judgmental.

Romans 14:1 - Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters.

Galatians 6:1-2 - If a person is trapped in some sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.  But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.  Carry each other’s burdens.

3. When someone disagrees with you

Be tender withoutsurrender.

Proverbs 15:1 - A gentle answer quiets anger but a harsh word stirs it up.

James 3:16-17 - Wherever there is jealousy or selfish ambition, there will be disorder.  But wisdom from above is pure, peaceful gentle and friendly.

2 Timothy 2:24-25 - The Lord’s servant must not quarrel, those who oppose him, he must gently instruct, in hope that God will give them a change of heart.

4. When someone corrects you

Be teachable not unteachable.

James 1:19 - Let everyone be quick to listen, but slow to use his tongue, and slow to lose his temper.

Proverbs 13:18 - Whoever listens to correction is honored.

5. When someone hurts you

Be an actor not a reactor.

Romans 12:17. 21 - Do not repay evil for evil, overcome evil with good.

Proverbs 16:32 - He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his own spirit, than he who captures a city.

2 Timothy 1:7 - God does not make us timid, instead His spirit fills us with power, love and self control.

Luke 14:33 - So no one can become my disciple without giving up everything for me.