April 10 2016 The Cure For Your "I" Problem

THE CURE FOR YOUR "I" PROBLEM

James 4:6 "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Good pride = Self-respect, dignity, satisfaction with a job well done. Joy in seeing others succeed. (Gal. 6:4, 2 Cor.7:4)

Bad pride = Conceit, egotism, selfishness. Attitude of superiority, (Prov. 16:5, 18, 29-33)

I. HOW PRIDE CAUSES PROBLEMS

1. IT PREVENTS ME FROM GROWING.

Proverbs 26:12"There is more hope for a fool than for a man who is wise in his own eyes, "

Proverbs 10:17 (LB)"Anyone willing to be corrected is on the pathway to life. Anyone refusing has lost his chance.

2. IT POISONS MY RELATIONSHIPS

Proverbs 13: 10"Pride only breeds quarrels."

Matthew 7:5"Take the log out of your own eye first, and then you will be able to see and take the speck out of your brother's eye. "

3. IT PRODUCES STRESS AND ANXIETY

Proverbs 29:25 (GN)"It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you

Proverbs 20:27 (GN) The Lord gave us a mind and conscience. We cannot hide from ourselves."

Matthew 5:5 (GN)"Happy are the humble! "

II HOW TO BE HUMBLE AND HAPPY

1. ADMIT MY WEAKNESSES HONESTLY

Proverbs 28: 1 3 (LB)"A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance. "

2. EVALUATE MY STRENGTHS REALISTICALLY

Romans 12:3 (Ph)"Don't cherish exaggerated ideas of yourself or your importance, but try to have a sane estimate of your capabilities. - - "

Galatians 6:4"Each man should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself without comparing himself to somebody else."

3. ENJOY MY SUCCESSES GRATEFULLY

1 Corinthians 4:7 (LB)"What are you so puffed up about? What do you have that God hasn't given you? And if all you, have is from God, why act as though you have accomplished something on your own?"

4. SERVE OTHERS UNSELFISHLY.

Philippians 2:3-5"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves... Look not only to your own interests, but also the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus Christ."

5. HUMBLE MYSELF VOLUNTARILY

James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift -you up.

June 21 2015 Freedom From Anger

FREEDOM FROM ANGER

Proverbs 11:29: The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing left.

Three Phases Of Argument:

1. Recognition
2. Reaction
3. Resolution

Four Ways To Manage Anger From The Bible:

1. You need to admit your anger.

Ephesians 4:25-26 – Stop lying to each other, tell the truth.  When we lie to each other, we are hurting ourselves.  If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge.

Anger means that you care very deeply about some things.

2. I need to understand my anger.

Proverbs 19:11 – A man’s wisdom gives him patience.
    
Four Root Causes Of Anger:

• I feel unaccepted.
• I feel unappreciated.
• I feel unsupported.
• I feel uncertain.

3. You need to deal immediately with anger.

Ephesians 4: 26-27 – Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry, get over it quickly.  For when you are angry, you give a mighty foothold to the devil.

Job 18:4 – You are only hurting yourself.

4. You need to control your anger.

Proverbs 29:11 – A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

Three Suggestions On Controlling Anger:

• Be quick to listen.

James 1:19 – Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

• Give a gentle answer.

Proverbs 15:1 – A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

1. Be brief.
2. Be humble.

Proverbs 13:10 – Pride only breeds quarrels.

• Don’t use bad language.

Ephesians 4:29 – Don’t use bad language.  Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to and what will give them a blessing.

Seven Rules:

1. Never compare.
2. Never condemn.
3. Never command.
4. Don’t challenge.
5. Never condescend.
6. Never contradict.
7. Never confuse.

March 15 2015 Managing Conflicts Under Pressure

MANAGING CONFLICTS UNDER PRESSURE

1 Peter 3:8-11

Verse 8 – Live in harmony with one another.

SIX SECRETS TO REDUCING CONFLICTS

1. Be sympathetic.

Verse 8 – Be sympathetic.

• Makes you feel understood
• Validates your feelings

How To Be Sympathetic

• Use your ears more than your mouth.

James 1:19 – Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Romans 15:2- We must bear the burden of being considerate of the doubts and fears of others.

2. Being loyal.

Verse 8 – Have brotherly love.

Romans 12:10 – Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.

1 Corinthians 13:7 – If you love someone you’ll be loyal to him no matter what the cost.

Romans 15:7 – Accept one another, just as Christ accepted you.

3. Through generosity or compassion.

Colossians 3:12 – Cloth yourself with compassion.

Ephesians 4:29 – (Speak) what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.  That it may benefit those who listen.

1 John 3:18 – We should love people not only with words and talk, but our actions and true caring.

4. Being humble.

1 Corinthians 13 – says that love is not proud.

Proverbs 13:10 – Pride only leads to arguments.

Proverbs 28:13 – Anyone who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful, but if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance.

5. We must have mercy.

1 Peter 3:9 – Never pay back one wrong with another, or pay an angry work with another one.  Instead, pay back with a blessing so that you inherit a blessing yourself.

Colossians 3:13 – Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

1 Corinthians 13:5 – Love keeps no records of wrongs.

6. Show maturity.

1 Peter 5:10 – If you want a happy, good life, keep control of your tongue and guard your lips from telling lies, live in peace.

Proverbs 12:18 – Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken can heal.

April 21 2013 How To Manage Conflict With Others

HOW TO MANAGE CONFLICT WITH OTHERS
Philippians 2:1-8

Verse 2 - Make my joy complete by being likeminded, having the same love, being one in Spirit and purpose.

Five Ways To Manage Conflict

I. Defuse competition

Vs. 3 - Do nothing out of selfish ambition.

James 4:1-2 - What causes fights and quarrels? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but you don’t get it.

First Cause Of Conflict: Competing desires

II. Delete conceit

Vs. 3b - Do nothing out of vain conceit

Proverbs 13:10 - Pride only breeds quarrels.

Second Cause Of Conflict: Pride

III. Decrease criticism

Vs. 3c - In humility consider others better than yourselves.

Def. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but rather not thinking of yourself at all.

James 4:11-12 - Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him, speaks against the law and judges it. There is only one lawgiver and judge. Who are you to judge your neighbor?

Third Cause of Conflict: Criticism

IV. Demonstrate consideration

Vs. 4 - Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

1 Peter 3:7 - Husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Forth Cause Of Conflict: Only paying attention to myself

V. Develop more Christ-likeness

Vs. 5 - Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus Christ.

Vs. 6 - Jesus did not demand His rights.

Vs. 7 - Jesus was a servant.

Vs. 8 - Jesus sacrificed for the benefit of others.

Fifth Cause Of Conflict: Living without Christ

Ephesians 4:3 - Do your best to preserve the unity which the Spirit gives, by the peace that binds you together.