November 8 2015 Taming My Temper

TAMING MY TEMPER

Wiser Part 4
    
Proverbs 16:32 (LB) It is better to be slow-tempered than famous; it is better to have self control than control an army.  

1. REMEMBER the results

Proverbs 19:22 (LB) "A hot-tempered man ... gets into all kinds of trouble. " 

Proverbs 15:18 (GN) "Hot tempers cause arguments. "

Proverbs 14:29 (GN)   “... anger causes mistakes. "

Proverbs 14:17 (GN) "People with hot tempers do foolish things."

Proverbs  11:29 (LB)  "The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left, " 

2. REFLECT before acting

Proverbs 29:11 (NEB)  "A stupid man gives free rein to his anger; a wise man waits and lets it grow cool "

Proverbs 12:16 (GN) "When a fool is annoyed he quickly lets it be known.  Smart people will ignore an insult

Proverbs 19:11 (GN) When someone wrongs you, it is a great Virtue to ignore it. "

Proverbs 17:27 (GN) "People who stay calm have real insight”        

3. RESTRAIN  your remarks

Proverbs 21:23 (GN)"If you want to stay out of trouble, be careful what you say-  "

Proverbs 15:1 (GN) "A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up.  "

Galatians 5:22 "The fruit  of the Spirit is ... patience.  "

April 26 2015 Dealing With Difficult People

Dealing With Difficult People

“Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible.” – Romans 12:18  

*The Story of Zacchaeus the Tax Collector (Luke 19:1-10)*

When faced with a difficult person I should...

• Consider God’s Purpose.

“So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely.  For when your  endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.”  – James 1:4

• God want to expose me
• God want to grow me
• God wants to deploy me

“And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?”  – Matthew 7:3

• Communicate Kindness.

A gentle answer turns away rage, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  “– Proverbs 15:1

“But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Here there is no conflict with the law.”  – Galatians 5:22-23

• Confront Conflict.

“For the spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control.””   – 2 Timothy 1:7

“Come to terms quickly with your enemy before it is too late and you are dragged into court, handed over to an officer, and thrown in jail. I assure you that you won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny.”  – Matthew 5:25-26

• Cultivate Jesus’s Heart.

“I'm challenging you.  I'm telling you to love your enemies.  Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with prayer….If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that.”   – Matthew 5:44,46

Memory Verse: “Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.”   – 1 John 4:11

June 22 2014 Taming My Dragon Of Anger

God On Film: Taming My Dragon Of Anger

FIVE DRAGONS OF ANGER

Ž1. The Raging Dragon (Proverbs 29:11)
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2. The Silent Dragon (Psalm 55:21)
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3. The Passive-Aggressive Dragon (Proverbs 26:18-19)
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4. The Pouty Dragon (Proverbs 29:22)
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5. The Sarcastic Dragon (Matthew 5:22)

Matthew 5:21-22 (Jesus) “You have heard that the law of Moses says, ‘Do not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ But I say, if you are angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the high council. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.”

Ecclesiastes 7:9“Don’t be quick-tempered, for anger is the friend of fools.”

HOW TO TAME MY DRAGON OF ANGER

1. IDENTIFY WHAT Triggers MY ANGER.

2. Pause AND Pray WHEN MY TEMPER IS RISING.

James 1:19-20“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in God’s sight.”

Proverbs 19:11“People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs.”

Proverbs 13:16 “Wise people think before they act; fools don’t and even brag about it!”

Proverbs 14:29 “Those who control their anger have great understanding; those with a hasty temper will make mistakes.”

3. Repair the damage CAUSED BY MY ANGER.

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.”

Matthew 5:23-26 (Jesus) “So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there beside the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. Come to terms quickly with your enemy before it is too late and you are dragged into court, handed over to an officer, and thrown in jail. I assure you that you won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny.”

4. RESPOND WITH Love INSTEAD OF ANGER.

Memory Verse: (Jesus) “God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.” - Matthew 5:9

Romans 12:18-20 “Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible. Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, ‘I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it,’ says the Lord. Instead, do what the Scriptures say: ‘If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are are thirsty, give them something to drink, and they will be ashamed of what they have done to you.’”

November 11 2012 The Choice Of Peace

THE CHOICE OF PEACE

Matthew 5:9 - Happy are the peacemakers for they will be called the sons of God.

Misconception:
1. Peace making is not avoiding.
2. Peace making is not appeasement.
3. It’s actively seeking to resolve the conflict.

I. Why should I be a peacemaker?

1. Unresolved conflicts block my fellowship with God.
1 John 4:20 - If anyone says I love God yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

2. It can prevent answered prayers.
1 Peter 3:7 - Husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Matthew 5:23 - Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and then remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar, first go and be reconciled to your brother.

3. It hinders my happiness.
Job 18:4 - You are only hurting yourself with your anger.

II. How can we be a peacemaker?

1. You need to plan a peace conference.
Matthew 5:23-24 - If you remember your brother has something against you, go at once to make peace.

2. You need to empathize with their feelings.
Philippians 2:4 - None of you should think only of his own affairs, but consider other people’s interests also.

3. You attack the problem, not the person.
Proverbs 15:1 - A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up.
Ephesians 4:29 - Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed.

4. Cooperate as much as possible.
Romans 12:18 - Do everything possible on your part to live at peace with all men.
Romans 16:17 - I urge your, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way, keep away from them.
James 3:17 - Peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness.

5. You emphasize reconciliation, not resolution.
2 Corinthians. 5:18 - God has reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gives us the ministry of reconciliation.

Where To Start:
Colossians 3:15 - Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.

October 14 2012 The Choice Of Reactions

THE CHOICE OF REACTIONS

Matthew 5:5 - Happy are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

I.  Clearing Up The Confusion

• What meekness is not:  Weakness

• What meekness is:  Strength under control

II. When Do I Need To Manage My Reactions?

1. When someone serves you

Be understanding not demanding.

Philippians 2:4-5- Don’t just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others too, and in what they are doing.  Your attitude should be the same as Jesus Christ.

2. When someone disappoints you

Be gentle not judgmental.

Romans 14:1 - Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters.

Galatians 6:1-2 - If a person is trapped in some sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.  But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.  Carry each other’s burdens.

3. When someone disagrees with you

Be tender withoutsurrender.

Proverbs 15:1 - A gentle answer quiets anger but a harsh word stirs it up.

James 3:16-17 - Wherever there is jealousy or selfish ambition, there will be disorder.  But wisdom from above is pure, peaceful gentle and friendly.

2 Timothy 2:24-25 - The Lord’s servant must not quarrel, those who oppose him, he must gently instruct, in hope that God will give them a change of heart.

4. When someone corrects you

Be teachable not unteachable.

James 1:19 - Let everyone be quick to listen, but slow to use his tongue, and slow to lose his temper.

Proverbs 13:18 - Whoever listens to correction is honored.

5. When someone hurts you

Be an actor not a reactor.

Romans 12:17. 21 - Do not repay evil for evil, overcome evil with good.

Proverbs 16:32 - He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his own spirit, than he who captures a city.

2 Timothy 1:7 - God does not make us timid, instead His spirit fills us with power, love and self control.

Luke 14:33 - So no one can become my disciple without giving up everything for me.